Wednesday, April 3, 2019

Two Thoughts To Help You Stop Being So Easily Offended

“He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool.” - Brigham Young

I've spent a lot of my life recently being a 'fool'. I've felt personally victimized by things people have said or done that had nothing to do with me. I've been put off by small comments in conversations that I'm not even a part of and think, 'What an insensitive thing to say.' Someone will post a photo on Instagram and they'll share a vulnerable caption about a trial that they're going through and somehow I twist their words to be offensive. I do this often, yet when others get offended by something I've said that was never meant to be hurtful I think, "Why on earth would they think that?!!" I'm constantly contradicting myself. 

Two things that I've realized recently that have given me a lot of peace and helped me combat these thoughts and feelings: 

1. Everyone is doing the very best that they can with the information and life experiences they've been given. 

I truly think that most people have good intentions. This means that everyone deserves grace, including ourselves. When someone says something that stings, I have to remember they maybe they don't have all the facts. They're trying to relate in the best way they know how. Everyone's life experiences are different than mine so they have a perspective that differs from mine - and that doesn't mean that their perspective is wrong. It's simply different and that's okay. 

2. Everyone has their own reality. 

We all have things in our lives that are hard or things that we wish we could change about our circumstances, our bodies, our personalities, etc. And we all have blessings in our lives that other people pray and hope for every single day. So when someone complains about something they wish they could change about their life, and that just so happens to be the thing you wish so badly you could have, it can hurt. 

Here's a silly example for you: I am very small chested. I was insecure about this for a long time and sometimes I still wish I could fill out a swimsuit a little better. On the flip side, there are lots of women that have the opposite situation - they have been blessed (or cursed, depending on the perspective) with large boobs and they long for a smaller chest. Each of us has our individual reality and when we voice our concerns about our reality it can seem offensive to the opposite party. 

This photo is purely here because it's pretty and this post has a lot of words. 

So why do I share about this? Honestly, I'm not really sure why this has been weighing so heavy on my heart lately. Maybe someone else needs to hear it. Or maybe I'll be needing my own words soon (I wouldn't be surprised). I'm sure in the near future I'll need a reminder to give myself and everyone else grace because everyone is doing their best and has their own reality that they're dealing with. Let's all be a little kinder to each other and ourselves, okay? 

xoxo, Chelan

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