Friday, December 2, 2011

Homebody issues

Finally another post. and its a long one so beware.  I've had what some people call writer's block.. but I wouldn't call myself a writer. I mean I write blog posts, but they are just stories about the goings on in my life that I'm sure no one but my mom&nan-izzles read. its fine but I figured its about time I share my thoughts on a lil somethin about myself. 

So I went home for american thanksgiving and it was most definitely the most awesome time ever. 
I just LOVE my family so so incredibly much.

 I can't even begin to explain my love for them. 
I am just ME when I am with them and I don't feel the need to be anyone else. 
I don't need to try to impress anyone and that is a really good feeling.. not that I try really hard to impress people at school either 
walkin around campus in my dance clothes with my hair piled on top of my head all day every day. 
its fine. 

anyway back to the fam. 
They make me feel good about myself and they let me know that they love me for me. 
They stayed up until 4am to wait for me to arrive home :) 
They love me. 
I can feel it. 
They tell me. 
I love them back and I never hesitate to tell them! 
Some of my friends that still live around Soab asked me if I wanted to hang out with them while I was in the homeland and I told them no.. that I needed to be with my family while I could. 
I didn't really care to see other people besides my family. 
Is that bad?? 
My mom and I were chatting about this and she understands my need to be with my family as much possible. 
I am a homebody. 
an extreeeeeme homebody.
 I just love being home. 
I don't need to go out with friends. 
I love being able to sit at home with my family and just enjoy my time with them. 

My mom told me that some people, particularly the people that I declined invitations from, may take this as me being rude and not wanting to hang out with them and me acting as though I'm too good for them kinda deal. 
I just need people to understand that being at school away from my family for long periods of time definitely takes its toll on me. 
I don't like it. 
don't get my wrong, BYU is awesome and I love being here but I would just rather it be nearer to home. 
Although, living on my own away from my family is probably something that I need to do to prepare me for the future. 
I don't know.. its a complicated situation. 
I have mixed feelings about the whole deal. 
But just to those people that I said no to... I'm sorry. 
Please at least try to understand where I'm coming from?

I know that it isn't exactly normal to be such a homebody but I have been this way my whole life. 
Not many people are this way.. for example. 
My own brother haha
Craig is one of those people that just loves being with friends and doing something.
He was rarely home after school and on weekends and such.
Even after his mission, when I thought things would be much different and that because he'd been away from us for two whole years I thought maybe, just maybe he'd want to spend more time with us, or me in particular.... haha 
but no.. to my dismay.
He wanted to be with his friends a lot a lot a lot and I just didn't understand.
I was going to school in three weeks and he didn't want to spend time with me. 
oh just kick me in the shins.
I cried about it. 
but its all better. 
We are besties now!
He told me that he thinks I'm funny when I was home :)
I didn't get to see him as much as I would have liked to when I was home for the week but the time I did get to spend with him was AWESOME. 
anyywaaayyyyyyy this wasn't supposed to turn into an 'I love my brother' fest. 
back to the family deal. 
so anyway, I am a homebody. 
I like it like that.
I love my family.
I don't like to be away from them. 
If you call me to hang out while I am home and I decline, just know that I need to spend time with my family.
I know I should to make time for friends. 
I just have a really hard time comprehending why people would expect me to hang out with them when I could be with my family...
That sounds awful!
but do you know what I mean?
I sound like a brat.. 
I don't know how else to put it. 

Do you know what I mean though?
Sometimes I have all these thoughts in my head, such as these that I'm trying to get out.. but its not working very well. If you think of a better way to put it, please help me out. It would be greatly appreciated. 

Just know that I am not trying to offend anyone. I want people to know that it is a physical, emotional need of mine to spend as much time as possible with my family while I can. I want them to know that if I decline an invitation to do something, I am really happy and grateful that I did get invited to do something!! I just have a very hard time leaving my family. especially now that I am away from them for most of the year. .
that's all I guess


  1. I totally get the feeling. :) When I go home most of the time I just wanna hang out with my mom/family other than a select few close friends. I seriously just love being at HOME! :)

  2. oh Chan don't feel bad about saying no! I do the same thing. Other people just don't matter as much haha Family is the greatest!

  3. Oh chelan I am pretty much the same way. If I had the option of going to a crazy fun party to staying home having a movie/game night with the fam, I'd be sticking it with the fam all the way! And I totally know the pain it is when others don't understand this.

  4. Totally feel the same way! I love just being home when I am able to be at home with my fam jam! I've always been like this... some people may have thought of me as insociable or snobby, even though that isn't the case haha. if I had to choose to do something with my family or go to a party, my fam would win.

  5. gotcha! i'm even like that now, if a family member of mine whether its my sister or a cousin wants to hang out i'll ALWAYS choose them over a friend. families are forever and i forever wanna hang out with them :)